Archive for 'I’m Just Saying'
August 17th, 2010 by Jen Hen under I'm Just Saying. No Comments.
Even the best relationships hit bumpy spots in the road. The success of a relationship isn’t in avoiding conflict, but in dealing with the conflict successfully and being able to move forward. There may be a theme to the disputes that resurfaces frequently, but perhaps you’re having to deal with the issue in baby steps. It’s frustrating sometimes.
Do you know what is awesome though? Having a spouse (or significant other) who you can actually disagree with and do it well. What do I mean?
People who “fight fair” without making any undue stabs. Those who can stay generally on topic without having the disagreement escalate into something totally unrelated. A husband who can accept the occasional tongue lashing as a moment that just needs to pass (and who dishes it back occasionally as well). Having a partner who understands that when you fall completely silent, you just need to simmer down because you know your own limit in keeping your mouth in check. A person who doesn’t run out the door when angry, but who allows you each to go to “separate corners” until you’re both able to discuss things with a level head. Someone who actually listens to you and works on finding compromise and resolution. Two people who can turn to each other after an argument and without a doubt say “I love you”, kiss and make-up. The good graces to accept an apology when you realize you’ve probably over reacted an eensie weensie bit (I would never be referring to myself here… pregnant or not… hahahaha); who is able to apologize for their own, sometimes jerky behavior. And someone who can laugh with you about the petty things that slip in sometimes, after the fact of course.
What provoked this post? There might have been a slight disagreement at some point in the last few weeks that instigated the thought process. From there I was thinking about past relationships and the relationships of others that I have observed. I just have to say that I love my dear husband and I’m so glad that I found the person I can argue with “well”. Because let’s face it folks, arguments happen when you have two people sharing every day of life together. It’s not always a bed full of rose petals… sometimes a thorn or two slips in. But do you neglect the thorns and let them take over? Or do you tackle those thorns together? I think maybe that’s the difference. At least in our marriage.
Tags:conflict, love, marriage, relationships.
August 5th, 2010 by Jen Hen under I'm Just Saying, Thursday Thirteen. 1 Comment.
For those of you that know me personally, you know that I can be strongly opinionated about things. I can debate a person into remission on some topics, on others I feel there is simply no room for debate and refuse to even consider “the other side” of the topic (these are seriously volatile topics that my opinions are directly in line with the “social norm” on). I guess you could say that this is an inspired post. Inspired by a few different people and sources, I’m a little worked up internally and I just need to get some abbreviated views off my chest.
The “Untouchables”:
- Violence towards women: Really, we’re past the stone age. We’re several thousand years past the stone age. Granted, I get that The Women’s Rights Movement didn’t really make its’ noise until last century, but seriously. Does it make you a bigger man that you’re able to slap around your girlfriend or wife who is smaller than you?
- Child Abuse: Again, does it make you the bigger person that you’re able to belittle and hit child who looks to you for love, understanding, guidance, respect, and safety?
- Rape: Revolting! Nothing else even needs to go here.
- All other forms of abuse: Anything physical, verbal, emotional, psychological in anyway. Go to therapy and get some help… seriously. Don’t give me the crap that therapy doesn’t work… it works if you’re actually willing to accept and acknowledge that you need the help and you need to fix some things. Trust me.
- Deadbeat parents: If you can sleep with someone and pass your genes along, then you can take responsibility for the outcome. I’ve got an entry in the works on this topic.
- Human Rights: Oh boy… I could go on for DAYS on this topic, but I’ll refrain for the time being. I just hope people will stop thinking about things as what they see as wrong when it’s really just something that they are uncomfortable with and won’t accept. I have written on this topic in the past. If you’re interested, leave a comment (or send me a Fb message) and I’ll send you the link.
The Debates:
- Accountability: As a general rule, we are accountable for our own actions and the positions we land in. There are exceptions to this which make it a debate topic.
- Self Control: Control your mouth and control your actions.
- Politics: Oh boy… this could go on forever. I really don’t like debating politics though.
- Education: I’ve got nothing right now because this isn’t fueling me for the time being.
And Just for Fun:
- If I put items on the conveyor belt at the store in groupings, that’s how I want them bagged. Older people who work in the stores understand my method. Younger people don’t seem to understand why my raw meat doesn’t go in the same bag as fresh fruit. Or why frozen items don’t go in with paper packaging (oh say, ice cream in with a bag of flour). Grumble. This happened to me last night. I never say anything but boy does it peeve me. DH is learning my “technique” … he thought I was crazy when we first started grocery shopping together and I’d be all anal about what went on the conveyor when. He has since met a few other people who have expressed the same organizational (could be read, controlling) way. lol.
- Drama. Oh honey. Some people just never outgrow it, do they? Personally, drama makes me really tense, and I don’t like to be tense at all. So, I don’t like drama and I avoid drama. I avoid the overly dramatic type of people. You know, the ones who someone is ALWAYS doing something wrong to them, or who ALWAYS have a problem with something or someone, and do a whole lot of negative talk. It’s not healthy for my sanity.
- Fake people. Don’t act nice to someone’s face, then start bad mouthing them the second they turn their back. Better yet, don’t make assumptions about people you know nothing of. Definitely don’t do either to me. I see through it. I’m passive about a lot, and I don’t say anything very often, but don’t be surprised if I never call you to talk or visit or hang out. Alright… so I’m not good about doing any of those anyway, BUT on the rare occasion that I do actually try to make plans with people the fake, phony, and assumptive are not making the list.
July 3rd, 2010 by Jen Hen under I'm Just Saying. No Comments.
Fer-fer: Proper Noun The term fer-fer once derived from the name Jennifer when her younger brother was a toddler. “Fer-fer, will you tie my shoe?”
Don’t ask why I decided to put the Fer-fer tag line. I’m not entirely certain myself. I guess I have my siblings on my mind. A lot of it boils down to watching the relationship between X-man and Lil’ C. Often they remind me of me and my brother and sister. Allow me to explain.
On more than one occasion (actually nearly once a day at the minimum) I’ll be in the living room or the kitchen and notice that the boys have gotten quiet. Shortly after Lil’ C will come in and ask me something like, “Can we go to the pool, Momma?” or “Can we have ice cream?” or “Can we watch a movie?” Since I know that Carter hasn’t quite grasped the concept of “we” I know precisely who came up with the idea of sending little brother in to do the asking. Nice move. Not a new one. haha. I think it must be previously programed into our system as an older sibling to send the little one to ask questions. I mentioned this observation to my brother when he was over one evening and he told me he didn’t remember me ever doing that. I refreshed his memory: “Ohhhhh. Yeah. I do kind of remember that now.” tee-hee. I’ve busted X-man on this a couple of times, all with a smile on my face. You know X, I used to send my little brother to ask if we could do things. Nice try but Momma remembers that play. He just smiles, laughs, then shrugs his shoulders as if to plead the fifth. It’s okay. I’ll allow them their right of passage. 
The boys exploring at Fort Donelson, Tennesee May 2010
The boys both went back to their father’s for part of their summer time visits this evening. Lil’ C was so cute when it came time to go. He protested. He was adamant that he did not want his shoes on and that he wanted to stay home. Then he came to me and said, “Brother come with me!” No honey. Brother can’t go with you tonight. He has to go to his dad’s house and see his other momma and her baby belly. “Oh” Then he went to get his Piglet doll, his teddy bear, and came out with a Precious Moments bunny that I bought when I was pregnant with X-man. “Brother gave me this to take too! These are my babies. Brother come with me?” No honey, brother can’t go with you. At this point he proceeded to throw all three babies onto the couch, climb up there himself and proclaim “I don’t wanna go! I want brother! I stay home!” *sigh* He has officially hit the tough age. The age where he understands that when he leaves he’s leaving people behind he’d prefer to have with him at all times. ESPECIALLY his big brother. Lil’ C adores his brother and I hope that never changes but I know there will probably come a period of time when they will hold animosity toward each other. For now, I record these moments of pure love in hopes that my boys will read it one day and remember what they can of the unconditional love they felt towards each other.
The battle ended with X and I having to walk out to the car with J and Lil’ C in a less than polite move of deception. “Get in brother. Get in the car. We go bye!” He screamed as they pulled away and X stayed behind at home with me. X: “Aww. I feel bad now.” It’s okay X. Your brother just loves you and is learning that sometimes he has to go places without you and then he misses you. He has a picture of you at his dad’s that he carries around when he misses you. And he does. J let’s him keep it on the fridge then Lil’ C can go look at it or get it anytime he wants.
I remember this stage with X, only it wasn’t a sibling he didn’t want to leave. It was me, his Momma. Because his father and grandparents lived 600 miles away in Michigan his trips away were usually scheduled for a month to two months at a time until he was school age. There were a couple of times his dad called me and told me to go ahead and come early because X was so distressed and constantly asking for me. I know it wasn’t that he was having a bad time, just that his security was me. As he got older he grew more capable of dealing with his trips and knew that he’d always return home and I’d always be waiting there with a hug and a smile on my face.
These days we all live in the same town and only a matter of minutes from each other. This is great for the kids. Even when they are with one parent or the other, they know that whoever they are missing is only a phone call and a quick drive away. They know we can all go to soccer games, doctor appointments, or school events at the same time. My boys are fortunate to have family that loves, adores, and supports them. Two sets of parents that look out for them and love them. I know it all sounds kind of cheesy when I go on these tangents, but I’m a firm believer in trying to look at the positive over everything else and I know without a doubt that my boys are loved not only by me, but the extended and “extra” family they have acquired. I am sincerely thankful that X-man has a second mom that cares about him and that I am able to talk to with ease about anything concerning his well being. I’m thankful that she and I can shoot each other a message and share any concerns for anything the other has noticed that the other may or may not have noticed, or simply to compare notes on something.
I honestly hope that anyone else out there who has children in a “fractured” family can find the neutral ground to turn it into a completely functional co-parenting structure. Without a doubt it all comes with its ups and downs. Without a doubt it can be trying at times, emotionally. But, without a doubt it is a positive example we are able to set for our children that water can be left under the bridge and life can move forward with time and healing.
I am in no way an expert on this subject, nor will I pretend to be. As I said, it of course comes with its ups and downs. But I’ve experienced the extremes of disagreement and battling. I can assure you that life is much more peaceful now, for me and the kids.
And I am thankful. Thankful for a husband that understands, respects, and supports all those “awkward” times we’ve gone through to find a comfort zone where the boys father’s can come over and talk, or I can sit on the phone for an hour with one of them if the need arises (and sometimes just because it helps keep the lines of communication open to maintain a friendship). He is gracious in his respect towards both when they are around and generous in his involvement and interest in the well being of the kids.
Tags:co-parenting, divorce, fractured families, kids.
May 30th, 2010 by Jen Hen under I'm Just Saying, Random. No Comments.
Welcome to week 10 of my pregnancy! YAY! I’m a quarter of the way there! And, guess what? I’ve felt the baby move a few times in the last few days. I was ready to cry when I realized it. Of course, it’s not like I’m noticing acrobatics at this point. It’s been a few minor little bumps that feel more like when someone is walking by you in a crowded store and their arm just barely grazes yours. But, it’s there, and I feel it, and I think it’s awesome. I felt Lil’ C right about this time too. X-man was just a couple of weeks later, but he was my first and I was being told it was impossible that I could feel him so soon. Apparently not, as my doctor said it was very possible considering the way my body is built. So YAY for feeling baby 3 move! I’ll just start referring to baby as “Baby T.”
I have this feeling inside me that we’re having a girl. I may be wrong, and if so then that’s fine too, but … I guess we’ll find out in about 7 more weeks. Since I’m self pay and don’t have to worry about what insurance will or will not cover at this point, I’m going to ask the doctor to let me go ahead and do an ultra sound at 16 or 17 weeks to try and see gender, then just schedule the 20 week ultra sound at around 22 weeks. I’m IMPATIENT about this! HAHA!
I’ve been so ridiculous and looked up all the online gadgets that do “gender prediction” (more than once each… because I’m spastic like that). Then if we go back to the difference in my symptoms from the boys and this pregnancy. I’m probably just looking for the answer I want. haha. HEY! I need some balance for all the testosterone I’m surrounded by in this house!
The kids and I went to see Shrek Forever After in 3-D this past Tuesday. It was Lil’ C’s first movie experience (aside from Shrek the 3rd when he was about 6 months old… appropriate, yes?). He LOVED it. He was adorable with his little 3-D glasses, his excitement was infectious, and he behaved amazingly well. X-man and I mostly enjoyed the movie, but have decided that 3-D is not our thing… we both felt queasy when the movie ended and as this was the second 3-D we’d seen, and the second time we felt that way afterward… we’ll just assume we found our correlation.
DH Cam is loving his new job, aside from cursing the inconsistent schedule of the last two weeks and some machine issues last night that were headaches on top of his lack of sleep. He hasn’t quite figured out that he can’t keep a completely normal daytime schedule during all of his days off then pull 24 hours of being up his first night back to work each week. He’ll learn. He’s a smart guy like that.
I’m still adjusting to the overnight shifts when he is gone and I have to go to sleep alone. However, I’m adjusting very well to having the entire bed to myself. Going to sleep alone sucks. Sleeping alone… not so much. 
He’s also loving the new pick up he bought this week. Once he sets his mind to doing or getting something, it happens. And he says I’m in control of finances. BAH! 
He’s planning on doing some modifications to the truck after spending countless hours on forums about his particular year, make, and model. Thanks so much to the people who have posted all those pictures with their pimped out trucks. My husband didn’t really need help getting big ideas. He’s a Hen man, and they don’t have trouble coming up with their own ideas. hahaha. I keep poking fun, but I’m glad he’s so happy with his choice. It was well deserved. Next up on vehicle purchases? Something big enough to fit the soon-to-be five of us without having to strap one of the kids to the luggage rack on top of the vehicle. I don’t imagine people would take to kindly to seeing X-man or Lil’ C riding around and getting extra protein as they swallow bugs hitting them while we drive 65 down an interstate. I suppose the other option would be to put X-man in the back end of the Montero, but then he might have the chance to hold a note up saying, “Please save me! I’ve been kidnapped!”
That last bit, I must admit, is inspired by a true story. I worked with a man at a grocery store up in Michigan when was 18 and pregnant with X-man. I only remember his first name, Al. When I had to work until close Al would share these stories of his childhood that would just about have me in the floor laughing. He and his brother were raised near New Jersey, or in New Jersey, I don’t remember exactly. One time his parents were taking them to the beach and as they drove down the NJ turnpike (I hear it’s a vicious road by way of traffic congestion) they decided to put their hands behind their backs to make it appear as though they were tied up, then pretended to bang their heads on the windows. When they realized someone was looking they would mouth “HELP ME!” I can only imagine how mortified their parents would have been if they had actually been pulled over by cops alleging they were kidnapping their own children when they were actually taking them to the beach to enjoy some family time. haha.
On that note I’ll end for now, and I hope to get around to writing again sooner, rather than later. I hope everyone has a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend with family and friends. 3pm on Monday is the national time of silence for remembrance of our fallen soldiers who died protecting our freedoms.
Tags:10 weeks pregnant, comedy, Memorial Day, pregnancy, Shrek 3-D, Shrek Forever After, Shrek the 3rd.
April 9th, 2010 by Jen Hen under I'm Just Saying. 2 Comments.
As I made the long and arduous trek to the campus building I work in a mere 12 hours a week, (I’m joking about the long and arduous part), I spotted a young guy standing at the back of his car and three campus police cruisers surrounding that black car. Two officers were standing near the boy, and one guy in a suit of sorts. I’m very nosey and I made it no secret when I stared as I walked by. I found great joy in knowing that in that campus building that I work, I would have a birds eye view of the scene from the computer lab window. And I did. The computer lab was empty so I sat perched on the edge of a desk next to the window and watched. I was playing reporter to my DH who was at home and missing out on the excitement. Let’s face it, this town is pretty dull and quiet. Something like what I was witnessing… that was exciting. Note some heavy sarcasm on that last part. At any rate, they did a breathalizer on the kid and an ambulance came. Another ten minutes goes by and I got distracted just as the kid was being moved from his spot on the ground. Oh well. I’m going to speculate that he was technically under arrest, but in poor drunken condition and needed to be tended to at the hospital before being taken to jail. He’s going to wish he hadn’t left wherever he was at this morning.
Now, let’s throw into the previous event that I come in the building on Friday’s so that I walk by the elevator that has the stand for the campus weekly news publication. I see as the headline: “Domestic partner benefits possible” along with a picture of Dr. Kevin Binfield. I chose to ride the elevator up so that I could skim the article immediately. You see, this makes me happy. First, I knew that if it was Dr. Binfield then it had to be forward thinking. I’ve had the priviledge of being his student and carrying on some pretty decent debates in his class. If I could pick one teacher to join my “nerdy” friends and I for some coffee talk over intellectual and debateable topics, he is that guy. (Actually, we’ve invited him once before, but it was last minute and he already had plans but asked us to invite him again with a little more warning. It had been an after thought on our parts.) Second, THIS is big news for our area. This… this means that we’re very possibly moving into the 21st Century. I’m not positive, but I’d dare say that if the University makes the move to include domestic partner benefits, it would be the first place in the entire county to implement such language. Possibly even the Western Kentucky region (if we leave Bowling Green out of consideration).
The addition of domestic partner benefits isn’t something that will benefit me. But, I do know some wonderful people that it will benefit. I have close friends who work for universities in other states who have these benefits and I know what it has meant to them and their domestic partners. I know that it has been the difference between no medical care for a serious abscessed tooth, and actually getting the infection taken care of with antibiotics and a root canal. Kudos to Murray State for putting this on the list of things to discuss and remedy. Double kudos to Dr. Kevin Binfield for positively impacting this University with all his forward thinking in the last couple of years.
Tags:Domestic Partner benefits, Dr. Kevin Binfield, Health Insurance, LGBT issues, Murray State University, thenews.org, West KY, Western Kentucky University.
April 2nd, 2010 by Jen Hen under I'm Just Saying. No Comments.
You see that statistics for divorce. You see the statistics for kids from split homes. You see a lot of blah blah numbers that can make you really question the good things in life and the chances for a happy childhood for your own kids when you’re dealing with co-parenting in two separate households. I wonder though, are there statistics out there for the kids who come up with functional co-parents? I’m going to have to dig around a bit in the journals to find out.
Without going real in depth with the past, as most of you may have gathered, DH is not the boy’s biological father. He is an active male figure in their lives, and a wonderful second father. Things ended… not pretty with my ex-husband and with Lil’ C’s dad for varying reasons on both accounts. There have been times when things were downright stressful and for anyone who has gone through divorce and separations and break-ups I’m sure you understand what that can entail.
Over the last year… life has gotten a lot more peaceful in that department. X-man’s father and I have finally reached a point where we can just discuss X-man and leave the rest out, or occasionally express some sort of interest in the other’s well being. That makes life a lot less stressful on everyone involved. X-man doesn’t feel the same tension he used to and he doesn’t feel like he is torn in two directions. He has also learned he can’t hide anything from either of us because if he does have some trouble come up, I call his dad and talk to him about it. He has learned that there are things that are done differently between the houses and has learned not to try to pit that against either of us or try to use it as a “guilt trip” on me (I tend to have a few more limitations on video games, but I’m Momma, and that’s just how it is). And his soon to be second mom (his dad is remarrying next week) and I can freak X-man out a little by e-mailing, chatting, texting, and spending a day at a Speech tournament together. Haha. He told me he thought it was “weird”, but the look on his face and the tone of his voice told me it was more or less that it took him by surprise. Here’s the thing with my sweet X-man. He feels a very strong sense of loyalty to both his father and me. I think that somewhere inside him he thinks it’s an act of betrayal to like, even care for, another man or woman in a parental role. It took him three years almost to start calling DH “Daddy Cam” (which is the way he chose to begin referring to him). I think with his soon to be second-mom it took him realizing that I was okay with her, and that she and I were friendly and me conveying a sense of excitement about the upcoming marriage and the baby that will follow in September, for him to start feeling like it was okay for him to warm up to her.
Lil’ C’s bio dad and I have been able to work through a lot of those past issues and have reached what seems to be a true friendship. He and DH can sit and chit chat, he can come over and participate in birthday parties, go trick-or-treating with us, or paint Easter eggs with us (as he did tonight). And you know what? It’s great. It’s great for Lil’ C, even though sometimes he really doesn’t want him to leave and that makes it hard, but the time spent prior to that upset is much greater for him than the five or ten minutes he’s not cool with J leaving.
I spoke with my trusty therapist about all of this and she just kept smiling and nodding her head and repeating how healthy it was and how great it will be for Lil’ C to grow up with the way things function between all of us. That’s a good thing to hear. I’m glad that in these crazy days we can do something good. Because, let’s face it… no matter the circumstances, a parent worries about trying to find the right balance and trying to do the right things to make growing up with two separate homes as “normal” as possible for their kid.
That’s just all been on my mind a lot lately so I thought I’d share it with you all.
March 31st, 2010 by Jen Hen under Not a Wordless Wednesday, Play time. No Comments.
My wonderful Dear Husband (DH). He was directing the canoe while I took pictures. This was out at Pennyrile State Park during July of 2009.
Energetic Lil’ C climbing up the slide that used to be in our neighborhood (we’re not sure when the play equipment disappeared… it just wasn’t there one day).
Here’s my X-man climbing up the slide at Central Park in my hometown (I almost wrote “our” hometown, but then it occurred to me that he wasn’t born here so I guess his hometown is technically in Michigan).
Tags:Central Park, Pennyrile State Park, Western Kentucky.
March 30th, 2010 by Jen Hen under Bzz is the word for BzzAgents, I'm Just Saying, Random. No Comments.
It is BEa-U-Ti-FUL outside. (Please sound that out as you read it. I really meant to place major emphasis on the word beautiful.) I LOVE this weather. It’s sunny, a comfortable upper 60′s, and just the slightest of breezes. Perfection in Western Kentucky. Granted, I’m stuck inside dreary old campus buildings most of the day, but this weather motivates me. It motivates me to get my tush in gear, accomplish the things I only talk about acheiving during those dark, cold winter months.
I feel… rejuvenated. I feel like going for a walk and kicking my metabolism back into gear so I can shed those pounds I put on when I’m hiding inside for three or four months of the winter. I feel like getting my bathing suit ready figure so that I’m all prepared for the Florida vacation that is finally getting closer. I feel like going to the tanning bed and getting rid of this pasty complexion. (I also feel like shopping til I drop, but I’ll resist that urge unless I just find some killer clearance deals I can’t turn down.)
Travel is on my mind non-stop. This is one of my favorite times of year to go on trips to the mountains where I will be surrounded by budding trees and fresh air. I really want to wisk my DH away for a weekend trip to Gatlinburg, TN. No phones, no computers. Just the two of us enjoying the outdoors and site seeing.
DH is kind of hard to get away from his phone and computers. Technology is a catch 22 for me. I absolutely love keeping in touch with so many people courtesy of the internet. I love writing and I understand the practicality of computers in our everyday lives. I’m glad that I can call my husband or get a quick text message from someone regardless of where I’m at, thanks to my cellphone. But I also LOATHE the very same technology because so many of us remain constantly “plugged-in” and, ironically enough, detached from everything around us. There is nothing more frustrating to me at this point than being in the middle of an enjoyable conversation after dinner, and the phone ringing and someone thinking they have to answer. (Not to imply I haven’t been guilty of the same, because I have on occasion.) Whatever did we do before these inventions? (Note the sarcasm. I’m old enough to remember those days.)
At any rate… life is looking more brilliant now that the sun is shining more often and I’m able to see the brilliance around me again.
Most of you know from following my writing that I began therapy a while back. Absolutely the best thing for me during that time. I’m still going just for “routine maintenance” and the occasional “reboot” of my internal “harddrive.” (I thought I would speak technology since that’s the language for today… haha.) The fantastic side of things is that not only can I write that life is feeling brighter, but sessions are reducing from every week to every other week, and we anticipate cutting it back to once a month very shortly. Progress feels fantastic.
My drive for the semester is back too! YAY! I’m finally back on track to receive some reasonably good scores for my classes. I’m sitting on the very edge of an A in Social Work (the last multiple choice exam really did a number on me), and I’m sitting at a high C, on the edge of getting up to a B in my Biology class (again, those darn multiple choice exams).
The moral of this post? Life is good! I’m glad to be back in full swing and almost in tip-top shape.
I’ll write more tomorrow and update everyone on the kids. Also, don’t forget to keep a look out for more posts about the documentary, “Babies”, being released this Mother’s Day weekend (May 7th, I think).
Tags:Babies, Cellular Phones, Computers, Focus Features, Gatlinburg, Spring, Technology, Tennessee, Western Kentucky.
January 18th, 2010 by Jen Hen under I'm Just Saying, Momma Monday. 3 Comments.
I tell you what, decision making is for the birds. To build? To buy? To renovate? To start from scratch? Planning, budgeting, “what-if” analyzing. Disappointment, excitement, and downright anticipation.
The steps to come are the steps toward the next chapter. Melodramatic, eh? Yeah. Us theatrical background people are real good with the melodrama. ha. X-man’s own room, Lil’ C’s own room, and a room for the “baby it” that has yet to come into play. Dining room, office, and a kitchen with some actual storage and counter space. There are plenty of things on the wish list for DH and myself (and X-man… Carter’s still to young to really voice an opinion on this topic). At any rate… eventually will commit to one option or the other. I’m ready to make that commitment, but until DH quits driving me INSANE! picks which way he wants to go with things, there will be no final answer.
In other news: X-man made Honor Roll… AGAIN! Yep, that’s my kid. Lil’ C went for a check up at the ENT Specialist last Friday and checked out fine. We didn’t end up going to Chuck E. Cheese or anywhere else around Paducah. He fell asleep within five minutes of leaving the doctor’s office because he was fighting off a nasty cold. There was green ooze coming from his nose and really must not have been feeling well considering he took his nap at 10am which NEVER EVER EVER, and I do mean NEVER, happens. It really bummed me out that he got ill at the end of the week because Boss Sanders and I were going to get the rugrats together while we caught up on life.
The semester seems like it’s going to drag out for me. I don’t mean to complain, because I’m very thankful that I’m able to work on my degree, but I really wish I wasn’t required to take Biology. Attendance isn’t required for the class which to most would probably seem wonderful, seems like a really bad devil’s advocate to me. Biology is one of those classes I do NOT need to miss. Science classes usually equate to a “C” unless it’s more along the likes of Psychology. In other words, when I’m feeling that slump of “do I really have to go to class” during the semester I’ll have the little devil on my shoulder saying “You should, but you sure don’t have to. Go ahead. Take another day off. The teacher won’t mind.” Of course he won’t. But my grade sure will.
Social Work class should be great, as always. I really enjoy this subject for studies, even though I’m still not certain it’s the degree I should be working on. I can’t really go wrong considering once I finish this tract, the road splits a hundred different directions for where I can go career wise. And there really isn’t a doubt in my mind that I’ll eventually enter a Graduate program. I’m a planner… I want to know where I should be placing my focus for the future. I’ll handle changes as they come, but until that need arises, I need to have my eye on a goal ahead. There’s something disappointing though. As I sit in a classroom surrounded by my peers who are to eventually become my colleagues, I find myself unsettled.
One of the first assignments for this class was for students to comment on the discussion board, outside of class, and state their previous perception of Social Welfare or “welfare” as a lone word. While reading the other students responses I felt a knot form in my stomach. So many of these individuals who have chosen to get a degree in Social Work seem to have made that decision blindly. They are entering the program with the negative precognition that “welfare” is for, and I loosely quote, “for lazy people who choose not to work.” SIGH! Yeah, that was a HEAVY sigh. You would not believe the number of students who actually put that out there. Granted, they weren’t phrasing it in such a way that they didn’t seem to keep themselves open to a change of perspective, but I really would have expected more people to already have an open mind on this topic. It’s not as if this is a degree people choose to make big bucks. So why on Earth would anyone choose to get a degree in Social Work who thought that, for basically minimum wage, they were going to work with a bunch of “dead beats”? Did they not already realize that virtually everyone has had assistance from the Social Welfare system in one degree or another? Social “Welfare” isn’t just food stamps and medicaid. It isn’t just a welfare check that gets mailed to certain people. It’s the Women’s Movement, equality in the work place movements, equality in general movements, insurance agencies (not just Medicaid), Red Cross, United Way, the federal policies for wages for every American and far to many additional organizations, groups and “things” for me to even mention.
At any rate… I digress. I can only hope that I’m able to learn everything I need to learn to do whatever career I pursue to the best of my ability.
And with this, I bid you all a farewell and good night.
December 26th, 2009 by Jen Hen under I'm Just Saying. No Comments.
The children had a fabulous Christmas. They were so much fun to watch opening their presents. I love the giggles and smiles and quirky little moments.
Lil’ C opened a present, but after pulling off the wrapper all he saw was a brown box. “Thank you Momma,” he said, then looked at the box for a moment and went onto his next present. C had to open the box to show him that we didn’t just wrap a cardboard box for him. haha. Inside was actually a set of Lincoln Logs. Lil’ C was a bit more excited about that than the box, but I sure thought it was sweet that he had said “thank you.”
X-man’s “Momma/Santa” present was a huge success. I had not realized that none of the DSi accessories and games I had purchased didn’t actually specify they were for anything more than a DS. This worked to my advantage because X-man didn’t even suspect what his big present of the year was going to be. Sweet success! We were down to one last box with a “?” in the To and a “?” in the From. I told him maybe he could open it for us. He unwrapped the box only to find another wrapped box inside. He took that out and slowly started peeling the paper away (think Charlie Bucket opening the last Wonka Bar he purchased in “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”), then suddenly “WOO HOO!” (imagine Charlie Bucket just revealing the edge of that Golden Ticket). “YAY! AWESOME! WOOOOOOO!” Once we got the system out and I played with it checked it out, I completely understood his excitement. The Nintendo DSi plays MPS, can do voice recordings, take pictures, play games, access Internet web browsing, do downloads, and there are several features to each of the aforementioned.
My sweet husband got me the newest publication from my favorite author, Alex Kava, in her Maggie O’Dell series. I haven’t cracked the book open yet because once I do I will not move from my spot until I get to the end (aside from potty breaks and coffee refills… haha). He also got me the Broadway recording of RENT on DVD during their final performance before the shows retirement from the main stage. He nurses my addictions very well. AND he got me a heating pad. “What??? A heating pad?” Yep, a heating pad, and you have no idea how happy I was to receive it. I have a bad habit of not buying things that would be for my benefit and my DH recalled my mentioning of needing to go purchase one to ease my monthly aches and pains. He really does listen! I play, I knew he did. He has proven it everytime he has gotten me a gift. I have said many times, he is a practical romantic. By that I mean he really seems to do really well with getting thoughtful gifts that bring extra comfort to me, and I appreciate that.
I guess it’s sad I only bought him a lump of coal. I’m only kidding. DH got a few new release movies he had mentioned in passing, George Carlin’s book “Last Words,” and Guitar Hero 5. Along with some super thick work socks to keep his feet dry and warm while he’s doing electrical work in the winter months and a few other clothing items.
Next year I’m going to go easier on the gifts, but it felt nice to finally have a Christmas I could spoil my three favorite guys and shower them with “stuff.” Four years ago all I could do for X-man was get him a few toys from the Dollar Store, and while he liked them, I just felt like poo because I couldn’t get him anything nicer.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas surrounded with loved ones.
The best gift of all I received this year was time with my family; both those I was born into, and those I married into.
