I think 13 or 14 hours is apparently my shift limit. By the time the 13th hour of being awake hits, my patience is running thin and I feel like I’m about to go cross-eyed if I hear one more disagreement or sassy phrase out of a kiddos mouth. Tonight X-man made the comment, “It’s a good thing you don’t teach preschool or Kindergarten.” I raised an eyebrow and said, “To be honest dear, it wouldn’t happen.”
If there is a parent out there who can honestly and completely say that they never lose patience with their kids, and are always in a sunny disposition, then I’d really like to meet you in person. Or else get the number for the doctor who is prescribing you the medication. I only joke about the medication part. I think.
Don’t get me wrong. I sure hope that anyone who stops by here gets that I love my children and I adore them. But I’m not going to “pull the wool over your eyes” and pretend that I’m always in tip top performance or Numero Uno Mother of the Year. I WISH I could be super close to perfect. Yet, then again, what fun is there in perfection? I mean what can my kids learn from dealing with a parent that occasionally isn’t ubber cool under the collar and sometimes looks like she should be put in a straight jacket and left in a rubber room? Hmm… they are boys so they are definitely learning that moms, or women in general, have “moody” moments. They have their days. And they aren’t perfect. In fact, we all have our “days” and make mistakes. It’s human nature. It’s okay. As long as we don’t do it intentionally or in a negligent/abusive way.
They have seen me sit down and cry from frustration. They’ve heard me raise my voice a level or three. And they’ve seen days where I did the bare minimum to get by. Oh, you want cereal for dinner? Sure. Sounds good.
And occasionally they just hear me blurt out a few lines of “It’s a Hard Knock Life.”
Even the best relationships hit bumpy spots in the road. The success of a relationship isn’t in avoiding conflict, but in dealing with the conflict successfully and being able to move forward. There may be a theme to the disputes that resurfaces frequently, but perhaps you’re having to deal with the issue in baby steps. It’s frustrating sometimes.
Do you know what is awesome though? Having a spouse (or significant other) who you can actually disagree with and do it well. What do I mean?
People who “fight fair” without making any undue stabs. Those who can stay generally on topic without having the disagreement escalate into something totally unrelated. A husband who can accept the occasional tongue lashing as a moment that just needs to pass (and who dishes it back occasionally as well). Having a partner who understands that when you fall completely silent, you just need to simmer down because you know your own limit in keeping your mouth in check. A person who doesn’t run out the door when angry, but who allows you each to go to “separate corners” until you’re both able to discuss things with a level head. Someone who actually listens to you and works on finding compromise and resolution. Two people who can turn to each other after an argument and without a doubt say “I love you”, kiss and make-up. The good graces to accept an apology when you realize you’ve probably over reacted an eensie weensie bit (I would never be referring to myself here… pregnant or not… hahahaha); who is able to apologize for their own, sometimes jerky behavior. And someone who can laugh with you about the petty things that slip in sometimes, after the fact of course.
What provoked this post? There might have been a slight disagreement at some point in the last few weeks that instigated the thought process. From there I was thinking about past relationships and the relationships of others that I have observed. I just have to say that I love my dear husband and I’m so glad that I found the person I can argue with “well”. Because let’s face it folks, arguments happen when you have two people sharing every day of life together. It’s not always a bed full of rose petals… sometimes a thorn or two slips in. But do you neglect the thorns and let them take over? Or do you tackle those thorns together? I think maybe that’s the difference. At least in our marriage.
It’s Monday which means it’s my day to whine again. Haha. Moi? I never usually don’t whine.
Last Thursday I had a headache. When I went to bed I hoped that that Tylenol would kick it out and I’d wake up feeling better on Friday. Wrong answer. I woke up with the headache feeling worse. Friday was a check up with my OB and I asked him about another option so he said he’d call in a prescription that was basically Tylenol, caffeine, and another thing or two that would kick it out. I went grocery shopping to kill time before going by the pharmacy but almost two hours later and they hadn’t received the prescription call from the doctor’s office. I called and left a message for the nurse, came home, put away the cold items from the groceries, then I laid down on the couch and took a nap. By the time I woke up, the headache was worse (again)… but thankfully not migraine status. It was so hot outside and I just didn’t feel like leaving the house so I still didn’t end up with my prescription. Saturday it was still present, but it was a lot milder. Sunday I finally had a break from the headache. Then… today… yep… welcome back headache. Off to the pharmacy for Lil’ C and me because I wasn’t going to put off that pill offering relief any longer. Of course, now I’m just waiting until after I get the kids to bed tonight since it says it could make me drowsy. Again… at least it’s not a migraine.
Tomorrow I get to bake “Friendship bread” which is essentially sour dough bread with some extra stuff thrown in for taste. When I made my first batch a week and a half ago, I didn’t get to pass along to of the starter bags. What does that mean? Well… 1) I am going to be baking 6 loaves of bread instead of 2 tomorrow. I really don’t mind that though because the Cinnamon bread was a complete hit with DH and X-man. 2) I’m going to have NINE starter bags that I need to get rid of tomorrow or else I’m going to be tripling how much I bake in another week and a half. I already know where one starter bag is headed (my Granny wants to make some), but I’ve got to find homes for the other 8… or at least 7 of them. I can handle making 4 loaves or so, but not much more. If we had a spot to plug in our deep freezer I’d be good because I could freeze some loaves to eat at a later time, but as it is no such room exists in this house.
This is where I float off in my head and dream of when we finally get our new house all built and set up. Yep… almost 4 times the square footage. Space to put the deep freezer, a much bigger fridge and freezer, and a WHOLE lot more cabinet space, and TWO ovens (standard stove and a wall oven)! YES! I really do enjoy baking. Absolutely love it. It’s relaxing to be in the kitchen making yummy stuff that friends and family enjoy eating. You just wait until November hits… I’ll be posting about all sorts of goodies coming out of my kitchen.
At any rate, we had a non-dinner supper tonight… meaning I was ubber lazy and when X-man and Lil’ C requested Chef Boyardee, I didn’t decline. I chose a Deviled Ham sandwich for myself because I love them from time to time, and no one else in the house likes them at all. After dinner, we decided to paint some figurines. I really should have gotten the camera out. By the time Lil’ C was done he had paint on his cheeks, forehead, arms, hands, and lips. Yes, lips. He decided to stick the paint brush in his mouth… the painting end. *shakes head* Good thing it was non-toxic and washable.
Remember the movie BABIES from Focus Features and Director Thomas Balmes that I was promoting? It opened in theaters Mother’s Day weekend (in May). Well… it’s coming to DVD!
You can check out the website for BABIES here. The movie will be available On Demand and for Digital Download on August 17th, then on DVD exclusively at Target beginning August 29th. You can even pre-order your copy of the DVD for $19.99 (regular price will be $29.99).
I’m going to place my order! I wasn’t able to see the film in theater since the closest one showing the film was two and a half hours away, but you better believe I’m getting the movie. Hey, I won that awesome stroller (and a super cute onesie) thanks to the promotions I did for the film through BzzAgent.com! You might even want to watch for a special give-away on here in the future… there just MIGHT be a free copy of the DVD for one lucky reader.
Clean clean clean. Yep, I’m back in the cleaning bug again today. I’m just taking a break for the time being. If there’s one thing my body (and thus, Baby Micah) has been teaching me, it’s that I can do my housework, but I can NOT go full throttle for 10 hours straight.
I woke up this morning, came out of my bedroom and my nose was instantly offended. I noticed that the kids’ bedroom door was open (they normally sleep with it closed all night) and my nose was getting more offended the closer I got to the room. What on EARTH is that stench? OH. NO. Oh yes… Lil’ C had apparently woke up in the middle of the night needing to go to the bathroom, but decided not to actually go use the toilet. He pooped in his underwear. I felt my gag reflex trigger.
After waking up X-man and warning him to be careful where he moved to get off the bed, I went straight to work. I ran a bath for C and started the most disgusting task of clean up I’ve had to do in a while. Blankets, stuffed animals that share the bed, etc…. off to the washing machine. Removal of the toxic waste…. into the toilet with undies and all for the time being (I treat the toilet like a wash tub when these things happen, to get the majority out). And I got sick about 5 times. Baby M didn’t appreciate those muscle spasms in my abdomen.
Let me tell you something else I figured out today. The Febreze spray for pets? Yeah… that stuff worked WONDERS to cover the smell so I could flip my gag reflex off. Thank you Mr. Febreze Pet Odor Eliminator… it’s good for the elimination of smells from kids who usually don’t have accidents in their pants, but do like to crawl around the house acting like a puppy or kitty (Lil’ C likes to do this a lot).
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Alright, so I got distracted and busy, then I got tired. haha.
Countless times I have told myself I was kicking you all out, evicted you from my memory. However, I suppose I hadn’t put my heart and soul into battling you and keeping you out of my mind. Somehow you have each haunted me in rotation. Sometimes, several of you think it’s okay to gang up on me. No more. I declare today the beginning of the final battle. I’m turning a corner, closing doors, sweeping the remnants of broken pieces off my front step, and taking a new fork in the road.
There is no room for you in my life. I will no longer waste my time or energy on the pain you all brought me. Bring your army at full throttle and face me. I will slaughter you with my bare hands. Then I will cry the tears of victory as I conquer the fear, self doubt, and pain you’ve all tried to engrave into the deepest parts of my being.
Your denials of what you have done to me will no longer prevent me from healing. This is MY time. Time to rise above it all and complete the formation of my SELF… my Ego and my Id.
*sniffle* Excuse me. I seem to have stirred up a little dust in my house during the weekend. Wait. Did I just admit to having a dusty house? Yeah I did. And yeah I do, but I made a dent in the battle on Saturday.
Wait… before you read any farther… if you haven’t done so already, go back and check out this post I made a little over a week ago so you can get in on your chance to win a $25 Amazon.com gift certificate. The rules are simple and the random drawing will take place on August 21st. So … go check it out!
I decided X and C’s room needed to be attacked full force so I did a complete reorganization and some overdue cleaning out of “junk” toys. Baby M has a container of baby toys to grow into because I also weeded out the baby toys that C had outgrown (although, I might have gone a little overboard so I might have to return a couple of things to the bedroom). 4 or 5 hours later (I lost track) I declared my work complete.
Then, I put my attention on the living room. I ended up rearranging the furniture amongst a dozen other things. I’m happy with the outcome, but boy did I feel the pain when I woke up Sunday morning.
Yesterday, I just flew by the seat of my pants. I made some yummy Amish Friendship bread and washed dishes, but otherwise didn’t do much by way of productivity. I did manage to avoid taking any naps this weekend, but I can already tell I won’t succeed at that today.
Baby Micah has become so much more noticeably active and I can’t help but giggle nearly every time he starts moving around. DH thinks he might have even felt movement for the first time last night. I’m so anxious for him to be able to have that big moment of “Wow! That’s my boy that just kicked me!” I think aside from seeing a baby on an ultra sound, feeling the kicks from inside is probably the biggest moment for a dad-to-be during the pregnancy. I read something that said you can almost predict what the sleep schedule will be the first couple of days after birth so I’m thinking I may start logging the times just to test this little theory out. He has been predictable the last several nights. I feel him bouncing around at 11pm and 2am every night (if I’m awake) for a while.
Now, you can contact me directly through a dedicated e-mail account. If you have any special comments, requests, or concerns you can message me at: jen@mommahen.com How easy is that? For those of you who entered into the contest, please add this e-mail address to your “safe list” so that when/if I try to contact you it won’t disappear in your Spam box.
For those of you that know me personally, you know that I can be strongly opinionated about things. I can debate a person into remission on some topics, on others I feel there is simply no room for debate and refuse to even consider “the other side” of the topic (these are seriously volatile topics that my opinions are directly in line with the “social norm” on). I guess you could say that this is an inspired post. Inspired by a few different people and sources, I’m a little worked up internally and I just need to get some abbreviated views off my chest.
The “Untouchables”:
Violence towards women: Really, we’re past the stone age. We’re several thousand years past the stone age. Granted, I get that The Women’s Rights Movement didn’t really make its’ noise until last century, but seriously. Does it make you a bigger man that you’re able to slap around your girlfriend or wife who is smaller than you?
Child Abuse: Again, does it make you the bigger person that you’re able to belittle and hit child who looks to you for love, understanding, guidance, respect, and safety?
Rape: Revolting! Nothing else even needs to go here.
All other forms of abuse: Anything physical, verbal, emotional, psychological in anyway. Go to therapy and get some help… seriously. Don’t give me the crap that therapy doesn’t work… it works if you’re actually willing to accept and acknowledge that you need the help and you need to fix some things. Trust me.
Deadbeat parents: If you can sleep with someone and pass your genes along, then you can take responsibility for the outcome. I’ve got an entry in the works on this topic.
Human Rights: Oh boy… I could go on for DAYS on this topic, but I’ll refrain for the time being. I just hope people will stop thinking about things as what they see as wrong when it’s really just something that they are uncomfortable with and won’t accept. I have written on this topic in the past. If you’re interested, leave a comment (or send me a Fb message) and I’ll send you the link.
The Debates:
Accountability: As a general rule, we are accountable for our own actions and the positions we land in. There are exceptions to this which make it a debate topic.
Self Control: Control your mouth and control your actions.
Politics: Oh boy… this could go on forever. I really don’t like debating politics though.
Education: I’ve got nothing right now because this isn’t fueling me for the time being.
And Just for Fun:
If I put items on the conveyor belt at the store in groupings, that’s how I want them bagged. Older people who work in the stores understand my method. Younger people don’t seem to understand why my raw meat doesn’t go in the same bag as fresh fruit. Or why frozen items don’t go in with paper packaging (oh say, ice cream in with a bag of flour). Grumble. This happened to me last night. I never say anything but boy does it peeve me. DH is learning my “technique” … he thought I was crazy when we first started grocery shopping together and I’d be all anal about what went on the conveyor when. He has since met a few other people who have expressed the same organizational (could be read, controlling) way. lol.
Drama. Oh honey. Some people just never outgrow it, do they? Personally, drama makes me really tense, and I don’t like to be tense at all. So, I don’t like drama and I avoid drama. I avoid the overly dramatic type of people. You know, the ones who someone is ALWAYS doing something wrong to them, or who ALWAYS have a problem with something or someone, and do a whole lot of negative talk. It’s not healthy for my sanity.
Fake people. Don’t act nice to someone’s face, then start bad mouthing them the second they turn their back. Better yet, don’t make assumptions about people you know nothing of. Definitely don’t do either to me. I see through it. I’m passive about a lot, and I don’t say anything very often, but don’t be surprised if I never call you to talk or visit or hang out. Alright… so I’m not good about doing any of those anyway, BUT on the rare occasion that I do actually try to make plans with people the fake, phony, and assumptive are not making the list.
